It’s not just “the goose problem” in Ocean Pines, it’s “THE goose problem” that has been bedeviling officials for years, as boards and committees pursue all manner of tactics to prevent resident flocks of Canada geese from setting up housekeeping around the community’s ponds.

Nothing has worked all that well, from either a practical or political standpoint. The geese just keep showing up and creating one big mess on the ground, blessed as they are with highly efficient digestive systems.

Despite an appearance that has been described as majestic and even regal, Canada geese are “pernicious poop machines,” as one website article referred to them in its introduction to “15 easy ways” to stop geese from nesting and feeding where they are not wanted.

Interestingly, not one of these suggested measures was said to be 100 percent effective. After all, if any single method was a sure-fire cure, there would have been no need for the other 14 suggestions.

The problem, really, isn’t that the answer doesn’t exist, but that it’s not the answer people want. The most effective way to keep geese from flocking around ponds would be cover much of the ground next to them with shrubbery.

That would eliminate the goose-grazing on these patches, but it also would block human access to much of the property.

Beyond converting these grounds into something more conducive to human use and the frequent gatherings of people that might ensue, there isn’t much anyone can do.

That, unfortunately, leaves the Environmental and Natural Assets Committee with the frustrating job of having to pursue the perfect solution, or at least that rare and elusive remedy that keeps everyone happy.